Solitude

This is an excerpt from the curriculum I'm working on... a piece that I worked on today and that is very relevant to how I am growing.

Most of us do not naturally enjoy solitude or silence. When left on our own, we often complain of being bored; when a moment is silent, we call it awkward. We fill our car rides, bus rides, and walks with music and we often say things we do not mean just to fill the silence. Ultimately, we dislike solitude and silence because they make us feel alone. Richard Foster writes,
Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds. We keep up a constant stream of words even if they are inane. We buy radios that strap to our wrist or fit over our ears so that if no one else is around at least we are not condemned to silence. T.S. Eliot analyzed our culture so well when he wrote, “Where shall the world be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence.”
But loneliness or clatter are not our only alternatives. We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment. Solitude is not first a place but a state of mind and heart.
According to Foster and Eliot, both empty loneliness and empty noise are detrimental to our well-being. We will only find fulfillment when we can find solitude in our hearts, and we do that by resting in the confidence that we are never alone: solitude brings us to God. Foster goes on to say,
One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are so accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others. If we are silent who will take control? God will take control; but we will never let Him take control until we trust Him. Silence is intimately related to trust.
When we trust that God is in control of our relationships, we are able to rest silently in that confidence rather than to fill our time with self-seeking, insecure talk. To be disciplined in solitude and silence does not mean to always be quiet and alone. Instead, it means to speak in community when it is right and God-honoring rather than when we feel we need assurance, and to seek quiet solitude when we want to be with God rather than when we are afraid of being with people. The German theologian Dietrich Bonheoffer writes,
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community… Let him who is not in community beware of being alone… Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair.
Like the other spiritual disciplines, practicing solitude and silence both deepens our relationship with God and humbles us. We learn again that the purpose of our lives is not our own interests, that we are futile to provide for ourselves, and when we do we grow in the confidence that God is all that we need.

(excerpts from The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster)