I sent many of you a message either telling you about this blog, reminding you of this blog, or letting you know I'm resurrecting this blog. Those of you who know me well know that I have some very strong feelings about relationship and community in Christ. Those of you who haven't born with me patiently as I have expressed these feelings need only to peruse past blog posts to get a glimpse (I'm reopening this blog with hesitation, however, because I am slightly afraid of what I may have written in the past). You are the community that God has given me, and I need you to help speak truth into my life. So, I'm asking you to read as I blog and to dialogue with me about where I'm going and what God has for me to do, as well as what in me needs to change in order to be the person God wants for me to be (C.S. Lewis talks about us as blocks of stone, and God's chisel must shape us into the shape he has for us).
As many of you are aware, I am going in to my third year of teaching at Boston Trinity Academy in Boston, MA. BTA is a distinctively Christian school which strives to provide an academically rigorous education to a very diverse population of students (reflecting the diversity of the city around us as well as the diversity within the body of Christ). I love what I do here. I recognize that teaching history and English, coaching soccer, and advising students is a very effective way to do what I feel God has both called and uniquely gifted me to do: equip young people to honestly and intentionally explore the reality of their sinful nature as well as their unique and incredibly, overwhelmingly rich identity in Christ, so they can practically and excellently pursue bringing that transformational message to the world around them. Yet, as I grow in Christ, I need to be open to pursuing new experiences (education, vocation, etc.) that will equip me to more effectively fulfill that calling.
I want to use this blog as a means of sharing with you what I'm thinking, struggling, praying, living through and as a way to hopefully seek guidance from you: people I love and care about, people whose opinions and hearts I respect, people who know me (to varying degrees) completely - both the good and bad.
Today during a faculty prayer time, we prayed through Isaiah 55. I've read this passage many times; my junior year in high school I picked this chapter as "my favorite" (how do we do that... choose one Bible passage as better than the rest?) and have returned to it many times since. Yet, today, one part stood out to me that had never really struck me before.
Isaiah 55:2-3 says,
"2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David. "
Some of you may not believe me, but I am not a person who welcomes change. I'm not someone who is confident in new situations (although I am someone who appears overly confident in most situations - whether the confidence is genuine or I am merely projecting the confidence as a means of covering over what I see as my faults, things people won't like about me). This passage hit me repeatedly this morning for 2 reasons. 1. So much of my efforts are spent "spending my money" on what I think will enrich my life, make me happy, help others, better the world, yet I truly struggle to stop and really listen to the Lord and eat what is good. And 2. God's covenant with His people is everlasting. It's not me... I'm not an individual. I am a part of God's everlasting covenant. I need to listen to God and merely obey. The weight of change is not on my shoulders, because my shoulders are incapable, sinful, weak, selfish, etc. First, I must listen and obey... secondly, I must listen and obey... thirdly, I must listen and obey... that's it. (In general, I'm awful at listening).
Yesterday I had the opportunity to share a devotional with the faculty. I played the hymn "Jesus Paid it All." I want to put the words here, but if you have access to the song, go listen to it (or YouTube it). I need to be continually, incessantly reminded that my identity comes only from Christ on the Cross and that Christ on the Cross should be the motivating factor of all that I do.
1. I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”
* Refrain:
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
2. For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim;
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.
3. And now complete in Him,
My robe, His righteousness,
Close sheltered ’neath His side,
I am divinely blest.
4. Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.
5. When from my dying bed
My ransomed soul shall rise,
“Jesus died my soul to save,”
Shall rend the vaulted skies.
6. And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down,
All down at Jesus’ feet.
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