When it's hard to understand...

It's hard to explain what's going on with me, with my family, now. As I mentioned earlier, my Grandfather is in ICU struggling to recover from ARDS. Some days the prognosis is grim, others, like today, we have great reason to hope. Regardless, the frailty of life is evident in these moments.

Additionally, my great-uncle Miles, who has been struggling with Parkinson's disease for about a decade, took a drastic turn for the worse today. His wife, my aunt Grace, is the sister of my grandfather. She returned from visiting my grandfather in NJ to find her husband sick, and it seems unlikely that he will recover. His battle, and hers as well, has been long indeed.

And yet, my cousin Sarah gave birth to a healthy baby boy this morning. This is my grandfather's 3rd great-grandchild, with another due in the beginning of August.

It is hard to see God's plan at times like these, when it seems that everything is happening at once. On Saturday I head to Maine for a month of camp in the wilderness. How can I go when Grandpa is so sick? What about Uncle Miles? Why now? Why all at once?

Driving home tonight from small group, I was reminded of a song that we sang often the year of the big accident at Taylor. It goes like this:

If you say go, we will go
If you say wait, we will wait
If you say step out on the water
and they say it can't be done
We will fix our eyes on you and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
and the plans that you have laid
are good and true
If you call us to the fire
You will not withdraw your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for you

And through it all, my mind keeps returning to who God is. God indeed is good, all the time.