A post on community

Sorry for the silence. This is an article I wrote about community for my church's blog....

Can authentic community become a reality in a church? (or even in our society...?)
I moved to Boston a year and a half ago after graduating from a small Christian college in Indiana. My college experience was a great one: I played on the softball team and was involved in many campus activities. I had a close group of friends that I had a ton of fun with, but, more importantly, that also pushed me to think deeply and question the world and myself. I couldn’t hide from them, and because they loved me, they were honest with me when I needed it – about my personal life, about my faith, about the world. I felt loved, enjoyed, and accountable.
When I moved to Boston, I knew no one. I came because of a job, and although I knew building new relationships would be difficult, I believed that genuine community is something that everyone desires, so it would be something that I could find in Boston. I believed firmly that establishing a strong community was key if I wanted to make it in my new, grown-up life. I still believe that. And so the search for community in Boston began…
… and continues. So, what do I mean by authentic, genuine community?
At our root, at our core, we all desire to know and to be known, to love and to be loved. By authentic community I mean a group of people in which real love occurs, love that exhibits the qualities of I Cor. 13:

“ Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end” (the Message)

When its put that way, community can seem impossible. Yet, if it’s something we desire, it has to exist somewhere.

Then where does community come from?

While community can develop through other means, I believe that true community should come, can only come, through the church. C. S. Lewis said:
“ It is easy to think that the Church has a lot of different objects-education, building, missions, holding services…the Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became man for no other purpose. It is even doubtful, you know, whether the whole universe was created for any other purpose.”
If we stop to look at the way Jesus created little Christs (spending time in meaningful relationship with his closest friends), we see that the process of coming like Christ comes only in the context of community. Jesus was teaching his disciples to love and to be loved, the purpose for our existence.
In one of the few recorded prayers of Jesus, we have both the definition of and the reason for community within the Church. He says:

The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind –
Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
So they might be one heart and mind with us.
Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.
The same glory you gave me, I gave them,
So they'll be as unified and together as we are—
I in them and you in me.
Then they'll be mature in this oneness,
And give the godless world evidence
That you've sent me and loved them
In the same way you've loved me. (John 17:20-23)

Community must occur within the church so that we can give the godless world evidence that God loves them as he loved Jesus.

So why is authentic community so hard?

Although I crave community, especially having tasted its power and felt its absence, I must admit that I am bad at creating authentic community. Community requires a level of vulnerability and selflessness that I am often unwilling to give. I want to be loved without having to risk rejection. I want others to know me for my good traits without holding me accountable for my bad ones. I want the benefits of love without the struggle to become lovable. Yet, vulnerability and struggle are necessary parts of community.

In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis expresses this truth. He says:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wring and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to on one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

So, can authentic community become a reality? Yes, it can, and it must. We as a church are failing in our mission if we fail to establish authentic community. Without it, we cannot give evidence of God’s love and His redemption.