Moving

I moved half my stuff into my new apartment today. I'll move the other half tomorrow morning - the big stuff.

Technically, this will be my 20th move in the past 5 years, if you count all the times to and from camp and college (12th if you don't count the camp moves).

Why are the college/early adult years such a transient time? I dream of the day when I can live in one place for an entire calendar year. I can't even begin to let myself dream about a time when I can live in a place and make it my "permanent" home. It's a concept too foreign, too settled, too grounded for this transitory time of life.

Here are some pictures from my almost-empty room at my soon-to-be-old place. I'll put pictures of my new place once I get it just the way I want it.

uh-oh

9th grade girl: Where's England?
Me: North of France... North of mainland Europe.
9th grade girl: Here?
Me: That's Africa.

5.5 days left

School is over in 5.5 days.

While I am very ready to be done with my first year of teaching, I am not so sure I'm ready to go a whole summer without seeing my kids.

This week had its share of frustrations (mainly students who have no intention of doing any work between now and the end of the year), there were also some key moments in which I was reminded both of how much I love my students and of how God's almost imperceptible daily work amounts to big change over time.

Yesterday was a boy day. My next to last class period with these gentlemen. We began English class with a dance-off which culminated in a 6'10" boy and a 5'5" boy doing the worm side by side. Priceless. We then finished our last novel, and they loved it. Not only that, but they were able to write reviews of why they liked it, incorporating more than just, "I liked the book because it was funny." I felt successful.

Then, I gave the 9th grade boys some study time at the end of the day. It was fairly laid back, and began with two of my boys seeking some girl advice. Then, before I knew it, 2/3 of the class had moved their desks to surround mine. They asked history questions, my opinion on dating, who I think will win the NBA playoffs, why the Yankees are doing so badly (ugh)...It must have looked rather odd for passers by to see everyone grouped so closely around the teacher's desk.

This is the class that almost killed me. On several occasions, I was so frustrated with them that, immediately after the bell rang and class was over, I ran to the faculty room, never wanting to teach them again. Yet, some point in the middle of 2nd semester, something clicked. Instead of working against me, fighting against the teacher, they decided that I might actually be able to help them, and that they should do what I asked. It took 6 months, but we got there.

My sentiment throughout the day: I love them.

My Spot

Just thought I'd post a picture of how I've spend most of my evening/spend most every evening and a significant chunk of my weekend. Occasionally, I sit on the other side of the couch... rarely.

Hangin' with the boyz...

Please disregard the cheesiness of this post's title. I spent the weekend hanging out with two adolescent boys, a puggle (pictured below - appropriately called "Puggle") and two very heavy cats. It's funny how housesitting felt a little bit like a vacation - a change of pace, movies, etc. Now it's back to the reality that is having 3 weeks left in my first year of teaching... aaah.

A year is a very long time....

But it goes so quickly.

Today is Taylor's graduation. It's going on right now. This time last year, I was a brand-new college graduate about to spend one last summer at "home" (in West Michigan, at camp) before moving halfway across the country to teach high school in a city where I knew relatively no one. I thought I'd give teaching a try - get some experience that I could use in a camp ministry position later on in life. I didn't own anything for a "grown-up life" except an '86 Subaru and an Acer computer. I had nothing figured out. Everything in front of me was absolutely new.

Everything in front of me still seems absolutely new. Instead of a Subaru and an Acer, I now own a Mac and a Honda, but other than that and a mattress, that's about all I own. I'm pushing to cram everything in to the three weeks that are left in the school year before embarking on a new adventure. I'll be working at a wilderness leadership development program for high school students in Northern Maine (WILD at Moose River Outpost). In a week or so I'm moving in to a new apartment with a roommate I've met only once. I have no real idea what I'm getting in to, but who needs familiarity and comfort, really? (As someone who loves familiarity and comfort, I'm constantly having to remind myself that I don't need it).

Occasionally I find myself longing for the familiar, wanting to go somewhere that's safe, where people have known me longer than 9 months at the most... usually then I make phone calls.

...and then I remember that this is where God wants me, and that He is always with me, and He knows me more than anyone.

EDIT: just to clarify, the Maine position is for the summer. I really love my teaching job and want to stick with it for a while.

Margie's Here (and Keller, Besty, and Chris)

Small Victories Add Up

I wish you could meet one of my students. She's one of those girls with what seems to be an impenetrable exterior, but a great sense of humor, and a truly sensitive spirit. For the first few months of the school year, she hated me - truly hated me. She refused to make eye-contact, to participate in class, to answer questions when asked. I thought there was no way we would ever have a positive relationship - not in class and especially not outside of it.

A month or so ago she came to ask my opinion about something, and the guidance counselor overheard. He was so excited, recognizing that 6 months ago that would NEVER have happened.

Today, she and I laughed so much. We got in a bit of a yelling match at practice - one of those in-their-face-snap-your-fingers-stand-on-your-tiptoes kind of "fights". It was hilarious. She's hilarious. I love her.

I'm convinced that growing outside the classroom is just as important as growing inside.

Sprinting to where?

4 weeks until the end of the school year: the end of year 1. Right now, I'm living in sprint mode - the mindset I get in at the end, when I push off the day-to-day maintenance things (sleep, exercise, adequate time with the Lord, rest/down time) in the name of just finishing. The problem with that is that the end is still a very long way away.

I'm walking around feeling overwhelmed, feeling like I cannot add another thing. I'm forgetting promises I've made to students, I'm staying up too late (right now), and I'm not getting up in time to start my morning right. I rush out the door, do last minute lesson preps, teach all day, head to practice, rush home, head off to some church or school related event, get home too late, cram some grading and lesson planning, go to bed late, and start over.

The problem is, I'm not the kind of person who asks for help, or who easily lets on that I am in need of something.

There has to be a way to avoid this end-of-the-year madness.

I need to stay centered on the Lord.