STRESSED

My roommates and I are moving apartments this weekend due to a series of unfortunate events with our landlord. This, combined with exhaustion from a busy part of the school year and the complications of many doctors appointments is resulting in a general feeling of uneasiness and anxiety on my part. I know that God will provide and yet I need to be constantly reminding myself that He is in control in order to feel a sense of peace about all of this. Internet will be spotty until we get it all set up again at our new location.

Now I need to go to bed and trust that God will provide me with the ability to teach with excellence tomorrow and to move with efficiency this weekend. Sometimes I dream of the day when I don't have to move every few months, when there is stability in my life, and when being a grown up doesn't seem so unsettlingly daunting.

boyfriends and skipping rocks

So last night I had a dream that I got a boyfriend (didn't recognize the guy, unfortunately...). We were in church (also not recognizable as to what church) and as we were walking out we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We immediately went to a conveniently close stream and skipped rocks. Ahh, love.

not a REAL update...

A more substantial blog is coming very soon, but I thought this was funny:

Yesterday, teaching the 9th grade boys about the scientific revolution, one of my students raised his hand and said, "Miss Richardson, last week I had a dream that you were writing that on the board and I raised my hand and asked a question. I'm psychic." After which the class quickly degenerated into many little discussions on the validity of his claim.

Also yesterday the doctors decided that the RSD/ CRPS diagnosis was a false positive (whew) and that they want to give me a botox injection (I'll explain that later).

Actually, this is progress

I don't really ask for help or admit need... ever. It might be a pride issue, that I don't want to admit weakness, but I think mostly (or more accurately) it's because I don't want to inconvenience other people or act like something is a big deal when, in perspective, it's not. But, the truth is, there's a lot going on in my life right now and you might as well know about it.

First things first, on Friday I'm going in to get a sympathetic nerve block. You see, for the past year + I've been having problems with my right foot. After a variety of unsuccessful treatments, it has come to this. If the nerve block takes away the pain temporarily (for 2 weeks or so), then the pain is part of my sympathetic nervous system and the doctors will work to find a prescription that helps. If not, it's not, and we're kind of back to square one as far as how to treat this mystery injury.

In case you didn't know, this is my first year of teaching. Traditionally, this is a very hard year. It's exam time, the end of the first semester, and halfway through... I wish my lesson plans were more polished, my papers more organized, my projects more creative, etc., but overall this hasn't been a bad experience at all, just a new challenge.

Also, I moved halfway across the country to begin this new phase of my life. Boston's not Indiana, that's for sure. I'm really enjoying my new church, and my coworkers are great, but I definitely miss the support from people at Taylor and Grace Adventures. There's a lot to be said for the support of people who have known you for longer than 6 months.

The kicker is this: we're having an inspector come look at our apartment on Friday because, after months of problems with our landlord and a very shady heating system, we've called in for backup. This may mean we move out soon, which is not ideal, but if necessary, it's doable.

It's when I stop to think about what's going on that I am hit by the faithfulness of God. If you had told me last year that this would be my life this year, I may have opted out of moving here: too many difficulties, too much uncertainty, etc. However, excluding nights or weekends in which the work seems to never end, none of this has been too much. God's grace is sufficient for every doctor's appointment, every frustrating conversation with the landlord, every lesson plan that seems impossible, and more. He has been faithful to give me the strength and wisdom for what He has called me to... and He has called me to be here.

A dolce kind of day

So I went to Starbucks today and ordered a cinnamon dulce late because it's rainy and it's Tuesday and I felt like it, and the Starbucks guy said, "you look like a dulce kind of girl." Not knowing exactly what that meant, I took it as a compliment, and then, being the literal person that I am, proceeded to contemplate what about me is similar to a cinnamon dulce late. I won't bore you with those thoughts, though. You can ponder the topic yourself if you wish.

Thanks to MLK and civil rights, we had a 3 day weekend. Valerie Strattan decided to celebrate the weekend by joining me in Boston. Any time I'm around Valerie, I revert to my true, ridiculous nature. It was fantastic. We went whale watching at a beach in Dorchester, hung out with some friends from church (I'm finally making friends not affiliated with BTA), spent some time doing touristy things downtown (including eating Boston cream pie in Quincy Market), and slept in late every day.

Pastimes

Sometimes I catch myself practicing my softball swing in the mirror... and then I realize that softball is a pastime now, not a way of life.

Thoughts on boys

Not dating them... teaching them.

Hands down, my classes of boys are far more challenging to teach than my classes of girls. You see, while I know a lot about high school boys, I know way more about high school girls. I can understand how to present material in an interesting and creative way when I'm catering to the female brain, but it's still hit or miss when I'm creating lessons for boys.

Today was a boy day (our school does block scheduling - A days I teach girls, B days I teach boys.... It doesn't break down that way for all teachers, and not all teachers have gender segregated classes, but for me it does). I have several comments about high school boys.

1. I doubt that I will ever cease to be astounded by what boys do. The things that come out of their mouths and what they are aware of/not aware of doing/saying/hearing, etc., mystify me. Most of the time, I don't even want to know what's going on in their minds.

2. It is incredible what boys are capable of retaining mentally without being aware of what they know. My guys probably know way more than the girls do, it's just almost like the information is stored in individual files in their brains and nothing makes sense until one by one, connections are made. Today in World History, we reviewed the semester in preparation for their midterm exam next week. We talked through the whole semester and they provided all of the information. However, before they got to the right answer, they would throw out multiple very wrong, often illogical wrong ones. When reminded to stop and think before blurting out an answer, they quickly retrieved the name/concept/etc. from wherever it was hidden in their brains.

3. Boys should always shower. If not daily, then every other day. My classroom is almost toxic by the end of the day. Seriously, this is not healthy.

4. Boys often exceed my expectations. Today, 3 of the 9th graders stayed after school for a full 50 minutes for exam review. It was voluntary (requested, actually), and I have never seen them so focused.

5. After a day of teaching boys, I am both exhausted and energized. They take everything I have and yet I don't dread them, I love them. Also, I laugh SO much with them.

Winter Wonderland

For those of you who weren't already eagerly examining your calendars to find a time to visit me in Boston, here are some pictures from today - the first sunny day since our big snow on Monday.

This is the cross in the grotto at school (it used to be a Catholic school/convent).

More of the grotto

This is the view looking down the street from my house...

and this is the view looking up the street.

This is a stream that I pass on the way to school. Beautiful. There are more pictures on my flickr page, if this peaked your interest.

Next week are the midterm exams, next Friday ends the first semester - I'm almost half way through my first year of teaching and I'm still alive. Not organized, not prepared, but alive.

Is this normal?

I manned the scoreboard for 2 basketball games today. The opposing coach for the boys' game was the most unsportsmanlike coach I have ever experienced (and I have a good deal of athletic experience). I'm not the kind of person to lose my cool very easily, but I was so offended/upset/on-edge that I was literally shaking for most of the game. It's sad that people can get that way about high school sports. Please, if you coach, model sportsmanlike behavior for your players regardless of what you may be thinking.

Then, after the girls' game (a much more pleasant experience) Sara (the girls' coach/co-worker/friend) and I decided to go get dinner somewhere. On the way out of the gym, we offered 4 of the girls a ride to the T, but they decided they'd rather join us for dinner instead of doing whatever else they had planned. So, I spent part of my Friday evening hanging out with my students. That's not normal, I don't think. I love my school.

After, Sara and I wandered through Barnes and Noble, commenting on books we liked/didn't like, etc. It was one of those, "you know you're English teachers when" moments.

I'm beginning to see my life come together here. I went to a community group (our church's term for small group) on Thursday and not only was the group fun, but it was one of the few Bible studies I've ever been to in which the content was theologically challenging for me. Having several lawyers and seminarians in the group probably helped. I felt challenged as well as strengthened by community: a very good combination.

No News is... No News

For those of you that are wondering, I'm awaiting an appointment with my neurologist and orthopedic podiatrist together so that I can get more information, begin talking about treatment, etc. That was supposed to happen this week, but it's looking like it will be next week.

As for school, I'm swamped, so you might not be hearing from me too often in the next few days. Thankfully, the end of the stack of grading is in sight, I think.

Not really good news

I got some not-good news today. I wouldn't call it bad, per say, but at camp I would call it an opportunity. I've been seeing a variety of doctors (orthopedic, and neurologist, mostly) for the past 4 months, trying to figure out why I've been having foot pain and swelling for the past year +. Today, my neurologist diagnosed me with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, or Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome. What that means is.... well, I don't really know.

Doctors don't really know what specifically causes CRPS, and there's no cure, but they do know that it is triggered by a trauma (I sprained this part of my foot in the fall of '06) and instead of healing the injury, the nervous system stays continually aggravated. In my case, they injected a dye into my bloodstream and did a bone scan, which showed increased absorbency in the region - a sign of increased blood flow to the area - a sign of CRPS, I'm told.

Thankfully, my case seems to be milder (according to my PT) because nothing beyond the exact region of injury is affected (mine is limited to the abductor hallucis muscle and the surrounding bones). Hopefully, it stays this way. I don't know what treatment will be yet, but it's mostly to manage pain and swelling, not to heal or eliminate.

Sorry if the post bored you. Pray for me as I try to work all of this in with a busy first year of teaching and still trying to adjust to a totally new place. Pray that I rely on others to help me (that's hard for me), that I'm vulnerable when needed, that I don't worry, and that I make wise choices about medicine, treatment, etc.

The Columbian Exchange

I'm sitting here eating Indian food (goat in a tomato curry sauce with rice and naan) and typing up a study guide about the Columbian Exchange. I don't know if I'd call it ironic, but definitely appropriate (tomatoes originated in S. America, if you weren't aware, and were brought by the Spanish to the Philippines, other ports in Asia, and of course Europe). Maybe one of the best parts of teaching World History is being consistently reminded of the factors/themes that have shaped our world.

A Weekend in the City

Because a large percentage of my life (approx. 98%) is engulfed by school and school related activities, it's easy for me to forget that I live in Boston, a real-live city. During the week, my lifestyle does not reflect my location. However, on the weekends, I am attempting to remedy that.

Yesterday I attended BTA basketball at Basketball City - a basketball complex on the roof of a parking garage in Boston's West End. I took the T (Boston's public transportation) and only once I emerged from the underground at North Station did I remember that the hardest part of public transportation is figuring out where you are and where you're going once you exit the station. On the way home I stopped at the very small Chinese restaurant down the street and got take-out. I love that I can get take-out from a place down the street. This isn't Upland, or North Muskegon, for that matter.

Today, I met my friend Anna at Boston Common and we went to see The Kite Runner at a theater right off the Common. If you've read the book, the movie is fantastic, make sure you see it (fantastic = so very hard to watch but also so very compelling). If you haven't read the book, read it, then see the movie. If you haven't heard of the book, if you're unaware of the history of Afghanistan, stop reading this, go to the library or your local book store, borrow/buy the book, and let your heart break for the people of the world.

Then, we hopped on the T and went to Cambridge, where we ate at a very crowded little Indian restaurant, then went to a coffee shop (but we had tea) and worked on lesson plans. I rode the bus home.

Public transportation is an exercise in patience and I'm beginning to realize it's an exercise in luck/coincidence/divine timing, as well. Bus timetables are more suggestions than any kind of reliable guide, and I've found that when I just show up at a bus stop with no idea when the bus is supposed to come, chances are one pulls right up. On the other hand, when I plan my trip around when the bus is supposed to come, I wait for a very long time, and often grow very frustrated.

All in all, I'm enjoying the variety a city has to offer, and the ability to spend a day doing a variety of things without planning it all ahead.

Don't get used to the two posts in one day thing, and Dave, I'm only doing this because it's books... but I got tagged so here it goes:t Blogging... Playing Tag with Book

01. One book that changed your life
Celebration of Discipline
I wish that it had changed my life more

02. One book that you’ve read more than once
A Tale of Two Cities

03. One book you’d want on a desert island
How to Survive a Deserted Island for Dummies
or, any book in the Chronicles of Narnia (I could read them hundreds more times)

04. Two books that made you laugh
Harry's Mad
and The Book of Useless Information

05. One book that made you cry
Honestly, I don't cry easily, so I'm not sure about this one... I think I teared up in The Kite Runner

06. One book that you wish had been written
The Expert's Guide to How to Begin a Grown Up Life

07. One book that you wish had never been written
Blue Like Jazz

08. Two books you’re currently reading
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
and Love in the Time of Cholera

09. One book you’ve been meaning to read
The Brothers Karamazov
along with hundreds of others

10. Now tag 3 people:
Jim (a writer, of course)
Val (put your English major to good use)
Margie (still in school = still reading LOTS)

It's more like facilitating than instructing.

I just wrote this in an e-mail to a friend:

I've begun structuring my 9th grade boys' history class much the same as I would a team building activity. Today I did minimal front-loading (introduced the concept of absolute monarchies) had a group initiative (a race with the subject being Philip II of Spain) and then basically did an AAR (after-action-review.... a debrief) where we talked about what happened in Spain, so what were the effects, and now what does that tell us about power and ruling. Any teacher that was in the hallway probably heard my class and thought I had completely lost control, but the result was a filled out section of notes in the binder of each student and a group of 14 year old boys who actually engaged in history class even though it was the last class of their Friday afternoon.

By the end of my 80-minute block I had lost my voice, and had run approximately 15 circles around my room, but I was smiling, especially because the boys each high-fived me on the way out of the class.

Don't get me wrong, this definitely does not even come close to happening all the time. But, it's the times that success does occur that makes teaching worth it. And when a student in the middle of the activity goes "Oh, I GET it!"

Another teaching anecdote for a Friday afternoon: Yesterday, one of my students asked, "what are the suburbs?"

Down by the River Charles

For some reason, I chose today, the coldest day of the winter thus far, to take a walk by the Charles River and take some pictures of the ice. For how close I live to this popular piece of water (less than a mile) I rarely take the time to enjoy it. However, I got a new camera for Christmas and the sun was setting in the very clear sky, and I thought it couldn't be too cold out, so I went. It was definitely cold, but worth it. Here are some of the pictures I got:
For more pictures from adventures in the past year, check out my Flickr page.